My Ramblings

It is funny how quickly time can pass when “nothing” really seems to be happening everyday.  Those days that seem full of “nothing” seem to add up into weeks and then here we are and I realize that I haven’t been taking many photos or documenting the last few months of our “nothing”.  I guess it is because I fail to look at today as a gift all the time.  Each day that seems full of ordinary things are the extraordinary parts of our lives. 

I have done absolutely nothing to document this pregnancy and I feel bad for that.  With Sawyer, I had a little journal and was pretty good about updating it.  I guess its because I feel a little overwhelmed with the fact that I don’t have the things done around my house, I want to, so I keep waiting until I catch up on those things before I move onto other endeavors.  I am afraid that if I wait for all of those things to be done, I will have missed this entire pregnancy.  I am already 20 weeks along and have been feeling the baby moving for at least a couple of weeks now.  Our ultrasound is on Friday and we haven’t really talked about names.  With Sawyer I made a list of the names I liked and then we discussed what we liked best.  Once we found out it was a boy, we just knew Sawyer was it.  I don’t know if it is that it feels unreal to me still or if I just don’t feel pregnant underneath all the leftover blubber from being pregnant with Sawyer.  I feel bad, like I am not excited enough.  I keep telling myself that once we know if it is a boy or a girl it will be more real. 

I think that I am feeling a little confused about things sometimes when I should be enjoying each day of my life.   In the last month I have cut my hair (the shortest it has ever been) and then highlighted it for the first time in just over 2 years.  I thought it would be just the ticket I needed to feel better about myself.  I suppose it worked a little, but I don’t feel there yet.  I did get to exercise the other day and that felt good.  Sawyer and I are taking a Mommy and Me swimming class on Monday and Wednesday nights so he can be water ready before our vacation in May  (a family vacay to “Happiest Place on Earth”).  I have been more productive than in months past and need to just be happy with all the great blessings I have . 

I guess this little review/pep talk was not necessary to post for everyone to read, but more for me to reflect and focus on what is really important.  I don’t keep a journal, so this is the only place I suppose I can vent.  I haven’t documented belly photos very well either due to my feeling fat as opposed to pregnant.  I did take a photo in January when I found we out and should probably take another now to compare and share with all of you.  I hope that things are looking sunny and bright in your lives and that you have it all together.   Good day to you!